Two Brand New Cookie Sneak Films
October 10, 2006
Whoever told you I was dead was lying. Here are two new movie masterpieces from Cookie Sneak Productions.

First off we have "Dial J for Jihad."

And then the dynamite follow-up, "Wang."


Yet Another New Cookie Sneak Film!
September 30 2006
Here is another new cool movie from Cookie Sneak Productions. Enjoy "Mean Cuisine."

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New Cookie Sneak Film!
September 19 2006
Here is a new cool movie from Cookie Sneak Productions. Enjoy "Hyphy Adventure."

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New Developments on the Web
September 13, 2006
Check out the newest projects I have been working on and some other things people I know have going. If they appear to have been created just yesterday, that would be a good guess.

Cookie Sneak Productions
This is a very fine film company I have started with a college buddy. We will destroy all other companies and rule the universe. Here is just a taste of what will be coming out of our high-tech company.



Cookie Sneak MySpace Account
Be sure to add us as a friend on Rupert Murdock's Myspace.

Cookie Sneak YouTube Channel
Here you will find the must up-to-date accounting of our filmography in terms of digital work. Be sure to send it to all your friends and whatnot.

Time Fighter Music
Need studio time for recording vocals, or some song-writing help? Time Fighter Music will be able to help you out with that. Check it out in the coming months. Help them help you.

European Auto Enthusiasts Group
This is a little site built by this one weird kid in California. He has a video posted up there that shows him driving around at 150 mph in the middle of the night with fog everywhere. He must really want to die!!

Crack For Sale
Here's a site I made for no reason. I will hopefully use it for something one day. Maybe crack auctions like an Ebay for junkies! YESSS!

Laciritas Productions
I worked with this guy back in school, here is his fairly poorly-made web site. The link to his YouTube video doesn't even work, but here is a link to it. It's a Requiem for a Dream Parody. Let's see some more!

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The World Waits for No One!
September 8, 2006
Things are getting back to normal. They say gas will be back to $2.50 by Thanksgiving. I remember the good ol' days when gas was only 80 cents. Stupid jerk terrorist motherfuckers! Gas now costs more thank milk. That pisses me off. I like gasoline on my cereal but I can't really afford it any more!

They Finally Cured Cancer
Some stupid jerk scientists finally figured out to cure cancer. I think. You'd think with so many stupid jerks praying all the time and scientists doing experiments they would have figured that shit out by now. God I hate them.

Israel Attack on Reporters
Back when Israel was invading the Lebannon, they saw some sneaky reporters and blew up their car. That's what those damn reporters get for getting in the way! Here is video the dumb reporters took after the attack, looks like they are slow learners.

Easy Works Cited Pages
If you're in school, you probably waste a lot of time making MLA or Chicago works cited pages. Waste no more time with the amazing "Knight Cite." This is a little better than the Landmark Project's Citation machine. Just type in the author and that other stupid crap, and this thing will format it all for you real fast. I wish they had this back when I was a kid!

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Iran Didn't Bomb Anyone on the 22nd
August 24, 2006
Everyone said Iran was going to nuke Israel on the 22nd. This would have triggered a world-wide nuclear war. I figured I would wait and see before I went and updated the site. Now I think they say the draft is coming up, I hope I go in the first round!

Racially Charged Survivor
CBS television program Survivor has announced that its upcoming season will feature tribes broken down by race. It will be Hispanics, Whites, Blacks and Asians. No there will be no Native American Tribe on survivor island.

Time Magazine's 50 Coolest Sites
A lot of these sites seem to be thrown in by some old person who doesn't know shit about the internet. Those freaks over there at AOLTIMEWARNER forgot to mention Severe Knowledge! Those jerks!

Mumbai's "Hitler's Cross" Cafe
Just so you know, the city of Bombay, India changed its name to Mumbai a few years ago. They now have this restaurant over there calling itself "Hitler's Cross." To promote the place they put up pictures of Hitler and their logo is a damn swastika. Who would go to this place?

Cool Drunk Dude
This drunk dude showed up to his sentencing hearing for drunk driving after drinking like 12 beers. This is one of the coolest dudes ever! Drinking + Anything = Cool. I like drinking and showering, something I heard one of the Olsen twins likes to do.

Football Rules The World
These stupid jerks put a fake deer in the middle of a road, and it made someone crash their car and get injured. They caused some serious damage to the bodies of some people. The judge said they can still play for their high school football teams, then go to jail afterwards. Stupid boosters!

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Don't Question My Love
August 15 2006

This is such a great web site I have. Let's pretend to be friends.

Nice Doggy
This dogg ate Fat Elvis' little Teddy Bear. I wish I had a dog that was as cool as that one.

Real Life UFO Footage
Here we have truly unmistakable evidence that UFOS are real and space people walk among us. Luckily they are allergic to water and are wayyy too stupid to wear rain coats!

Axis WWII Trickery
The Japanese sent over balloons across the ocean to try and bomb the US. What a quaint little idea they had. In the Rock-Paper-Scissors game that is War, Bomb Balloons lose to Atomic Bombs.

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Free Movie Ticket
August 6 2006
Click for ticket
Here is a free ticket to see Oliver Stone's new movie tomorrow. If the phone number thing doesn't work try it with parentheses or with dashes and crap.

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I Was Kidnapped!
August 2 2006
Some jerks from the Bush Administration took me away in a black helicopter for a while. They roughed me up with a gang of toughs. Those jerks! But I am back with some new crap for you!

Rocky Mountain Goodness
If you're like me, you know drinking and driving is cool! This guy Pete Coors is the president or owner or something of the Coors beer company. He is always doing public service announcements about not drinking and driving. He should watch some of those PSA's because he got caught drinking and driving a while back. Awesome!

Intel 0wns!
Intel has come out with a new processor that is way better than the stupid AMD craps. Hooray! One step closer to having a robot that does everything for me!

Earth To Fat People, Come In Fat People!
Stop eating so much you fatties! You're so fat these days that X-Rays can't even get through you! What's going on here? Put the twinkie down!

Rocky Balboa
"The Rock" Rocky Balboa is finally back, for Rocky 6 aka "Rocky Balboa." Sylverster Stallone may have just turned 60, but he can still throw down like a white George Foreman! I've got my money on Rocky! Here is the trailer!

Crazy Jerk Summons Aliens!
This crazy bastard has the power to summon aliens! I wish he would bring them to my house for a party! I bet they know some wicked drinking games!

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Sleepy Times
July 14 2006
I get way too sleepy these days to update, I think its because of all the pesticides I have been drinking. Here are few links for you since you're so diligent.

Brotha Lynch and MC Eiht Music Video
What do you get when you cross two weird gangsta rappers, $10 and a video camera? You get this video with violins, beanies and fitted hats. The Video to the MC Eiht and Brotha Lynch song "You Don't Know Who I Know," off of their colab album.

Lycos Top 50 Searches
Here are Lycos search engine's top 50 searches. Where the fuck is severe knowledge?!?! LiLo is way down at #27.

#1 Stunna!!!
Saw this video on the front page of myspace one day. This bad-ass middle-eastern dude or some shit is doing some mad habadashery on his bike. He's da shit! The "Arabian Drifter."

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Sick Sad World
July 5 2006
Sorry for not updating but I hate your stinkin guts. Just kidding. Here's proof: (Also, don't forget Page 2!

Bob Saget Rap
Here's a nice rap about how Bob Saget owns. At the end he says "Goodnight Michelle!" Also be sure to watch the episode of "Entourage" where he bangs call girls and hits a bong.

Dancin Fidel
With the damn North Koreans acting all brave these days, its easy to forget the first insane commie bastard, Fidel. Here's some recon on his counter-revolutionary tactics.

Urban Dictionary
Ever feel left out because you don't know what skeet is? Maybe you feel ashamed because you're afraid to as the meaning of the words from the latest 50 Cent video? Have no fear, urban dictionary is here. Your key to understanding what the youngsters are talking about.

Sploid
News and Tabloid rolled into one. With plenty of nice pictures to go along with it. Hooray!

And now, a couple of videos of Dwayne Wade doing insane things on the court.
Dwayne Wade Swats Amare Then Drains it from Half Court
Dwayne crosses Eric Snow to the Ground

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Severe Site Version 0.6.7.545
June 29, 2006
I have worked a long time just to make a couple of stupid columns for this site. If you can read this, I am very happy to hear it. Here are some nice links to reward you for coming to this insane site of mine.

Porn Star Beatdown
Here are couple of hookers AKA porn stars who get mad at eachother. One porn star accuses the other of stealing, then throws some water on her or something. Then she gets her ass kicked ruthlessly. Very nice, one of the greatest videos ever!

September 11th Conspiracy Revealed
IF you think that Osama Bin Laden and his cronies were responsible for the 911 attacks, you are sadly mistaken. You are nothing more than a god damned pawn in the game played by the illuminati. Those of us who see through the illusions built for us by the government know that the "Rampage" monsters destroyed the World Trade Center. God damn yous to hell, liberal media conspiritors!!

ESPN's NFL Power Rankings
ESPN Reveals its newest rankings, and at the top are the Seattle Seahawks. Not far below are the Denver Broncos at #4. Let's hope they can get rid of Ashley Lelie for something more than $2. That's right he's a two dollar ho and he should go back to Hawaii where he came from! That's right he played for the Hawaii Rainbows. I wonder why he chose to play for a team called the Rainbows.... Let's call Jerry Falwell, see what he thinks!

Wrong Place at the Wrong Time
Much in the same vein as the porn star fight, we see a pimp get knocked the fuck out! This "pimp" gets his ass beaten by a guy who stopped filming a self defense video to defend the pimp's bottom bitch. Better luck next time.

One More Severe Beating
Look at this kid getting mauled by a viscious wild animal. This is not for the faint of heart! This is something you can't un-see, so please be careful. I'm serious. I am not responsible for the therapy you will need after you see this horrible animal attack.

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Site Transformation
I've had some hard times lately, and I decided that making a site about a mean starlet and random links is not worth my time. Then I changed my mind. Just to let you know I have now seperated this page into more than one page. The last few updates remain here on this page, and then the rest are now on Page 2. Also be sure to check out the archive. Will there ever be page 3? I'll never know. Now peep some new severe links.

More Lindsay = :D
June 23 2006
OMG it's been way too long since I told you more about that wonderful La Lohan. We're closing in on her 20th birthday, so expect some fireworks out of her yet!

Hilary Duff Doesn't Put Out
Hilary Duff claims that she is a virgin. This reminds me of the show "Entourage" where the girl goes around capitalizing on her virgin image. Well, stupid Hilary Duff can continue making her teen Duff-fluff movies, and hopefully Lohan will start taking it off for Playboy. I wonder how many groupies that boyfriend of hers has banged while touring with his band Good Charlotte.

While Hilary goes around claiming to be a virgin, Lindsay has been making waves recently for being her bad-ass diva self. She goes out with so many guys, I will never be able to keep track, but here's some cool info about Lindsay saying "Fuck yo couch!" to everyone.

Lindsay's Coke Escapades
Lindsay reportedly couldn't stay in her seat while at some stupid party for a bunch of rich old jerks. She went to some party with some crotchety old dude, and while there got up and went to the bathroom like 6 times during her two hour stay. Her version of Duck-Duck-Goose had some old bitch (I think she was the host or something) crying to Lindsay's old dude that he needed to control her because she was his guest. Sounds like that broad didn't have the guts to stand up to fire crotch. Who would?

Lindsay Lohan Versus P. Diddy
This story is too good to be true. The fable goes that Lindsay was partying at some club and got up from her table. When she came back, Puffy's crew had started to share a table with her. She wasn't having it. She made a big scene and had to be carried away! Hahahaha! First Paris Hilton, and now beef with Puffy? Who's next, Tom Cruise? La Lohan is da shit!
Sidenote:Apparently the East Coast - West Coast thing has died down for good, as the new Dogg Pound CD, "Cali iz Active" plays host to the musical stylings of Sean "Puffy" Combs. If someone's set smoked the guy who made me famous I wouldn't let them get anywhere near my album. I hope the version of the CD where I heard this latest travesty is a fake!

Lindsay Falls in the Polls
While "Maxim" rated Lindsay the 3rd hottest broad, AskMen.com reports that she is #18. They took more exception to Lindsay's weight-loss than Maxim did. I don't trust this AssMen site, but going thru and ranking 99 broads has got to be worth something.

Speaking of Lindsay's Weight Loss...
One dude felt that there was something behind Lindsay's weight loss aside from Coke. Here are his insane interpretations in the form of a flash animation. The attack by bees has got to be the stupidest shit I have ever seen.

Another Lohan Flash Animation
This is a really long Behind the Music about Lindsay's supposed implants. I still cling to the hope that they are real. Not sure why. Everyone saying they aren't real are a bunch of haters. Linds is the most hated broad aside from Britney Spears. Anyways, here is this "creative" look at Lindsay's body.

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Lagging Like a Hippy
June 19, 2006
It's been nearly a week since my last update, and for that I must again severely apologize. Things have been hard for me. Just kidding. I'm just lazy. Here are some interesting items you may enjoy. They all have to do with the music industry you jerk.

Dipset
This apppears to be the official site of the mighty dip. Here you can get info on new releases and they even have quite a few songs from the crew that you can listen to. Real nice stuff here.

The Bootlegging Scene
Here's an old article from when mp3's were new. Its pretty stupid to think that web sites used to just host mp3's like it was legal and no one really shut them down for a while. This is for those MP3 OG's

Someone's Sacramento Rap Site
Someone I know made an mp3 site back in the day, and this is what is left of it. Seems that it's stood the test of time pretty well.

The Brotha Lynch
Visit the official web site of Brotha Lynch Hung's Sicmade Muzicc record label, now getting ready to celebrate its Ten Year anniversary. They may not ever release things but I guess you don't have to in order to call yourself a label. Just kidding. Be on the look out for Lynch's "Dinner and a Movie" some time this year or the next or maybe the year after that. Also we have Lynch's myspace.

The X-Loc's Myspace
He may be stuck up in prison but Sacramento rapper X-Raided still found time to build his own myspace. Just kidding its run by his label or his girlfriend or something like that. Be on the lookout for "The Unforgiven vol. 2" in stores one of these days. Keep an eye on the official site of the label, blocstarentertainment.com.

Siccness.net
This site has been puttin it down for years, giving people who are into Northern California rap a place to find out info and bang on the message boards. There have been some real good times there, let's hope it stays that way!

Prince of Compton
Eazy-E's son, Lil-Eazy, has this web site. It's a pretty good one you can see some news and read up on some of his goings-on. On the site there is a link to his myspace account. He was recently arrested but he's out I guess. Be on the look out for his debut album, again, it will be out one of these days.

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Something to Tug at your Heartstrings
June 13th 2006
It's been too long since my last update. I feel like I am letting everyone down. Here are some nice quick links for your parousal. And no, a parousal is not a breed of dog.

Big Ben Nearly Pulls a Jay Williams
Good news Broncos fans, Ben Roethlisberger broke his face while riding around on his motorcycle without a helmet. Sadly enough he didn't break a leg or his throwing arm. They say he will be ready for the start of the season. :[

UGLARY DUFF
Here are pictures of the teen queen Hilary Duff sporting her ugly man-face. I love the commentary here on the page. What an ugly tranny that Lizzie is! Just go away Hil, just go away forever!

Al Gore's Movie
Hitting theaters soon is Al Gore's new movie, The Inconvenient Truth. He wrote this really long book about global warming like 10 or 39 years ago, and I guess this movie serves as the sequel. My girlfriend says his movie will talk about 9-11 but I don't think she is right (actually I do, but I didn't think of it before she did.) Be sure to check out this film that talks about that made-up environmental disaster that is occuring outside our comfy walls.

Dirty Cops!
These cops tried to use burned cd's as probable cause for searching a guy's car. The courts said the cops had their heads up their asses on this one, and the guy who was caught with lots of weed got off. The cops need to chill out and go find the real killers of OJ's wife. If I ever stop being lazy I will find the email address of the cop who did this or at least his boss and give him a piece of my mind!

Download Firefox
You may have heard this before, but Firefox kicks ass. It is a little faster and a little easier to look at then Bill Gates' Internet Explorer. Its also a little better all around. Try it out and then forget about stupid IE for good.

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Google Visitor Pandering Time
June 9th, 2006
Google has finally spidered my site again, and I've gotten quite a few hits from people looking for Lindsay's "Side Boob." Who am I to deny you all? Here I rehash the Lohan slip-up.

Lohan Red Carpet Side Boob Video
Here we have the infamous Lindsay Lohan side-boob video. I read at a very nice Lohan site that it was at a Race to Cure Multiple Sclerosis event. Man those thangs could cure any disease if they put their minds to it. Some people think its in bad taste to profit off of her wardrobe malfunction, but she must have known it would happen. She got some nice publicity I guess, but her movie still tanked. Cry time. Also, here are some still images of the same event.

Lohan Ass Slip on Nickelodeon
A thing I like about Lindsay is her representation of the duality of human nature. On one hand, she's a damn fox. On the other hand, kids love her, as proven by her favorite actress award at the recent Nickelodeon Kid's choice awards. She was able to combine her Jay Leno-like love for her young fans with the risque use of a thong or somethign similiar. The dame's got moxie.

Lindsay Lohan Says Bye-Bye Jerks
Lindsay is starting to get acting roles alongside famous actors now, instead of stupid washed up teen-queens like Jamie-Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday. She decided to quit the movie Billy by some stupid jerk indie people as a result of her increasing acting credibility. Whore Jessica Alba will be taking over her part. Alba recently beat out Lindsay by one spot in Maxim's sexiest women feature, coming it at #2 to Lindsay's #3, BUT HERE SHE TAKES LINDSAY'S SLOPPY SECONDS. How do you like them apples, Dark Angel?

Lohangroupie.com
I mentioned "a nice Lohan site" earlier, well this is it. Their comprehensive nature and up-to-date news is something quite refreshing. It took me a while to find it, hopefully there are more sites like it around. Long live the blogosphere! Just kidding.

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Buffet Style
June 8th, 2006
I bring you a fine new Lindsay Lohan update. It has been over two weeks since the last full Lindsay update, and I apologize for that. I will soon post up my review of Just My Luck. Enjoy! But before that, I bring you a very special link that shows what ruination the true heart of a battle cat can bring to the sad worlds of myspace people.

Sidekick Thieves
Here some crappy ho or some dude found a phone in a taxi. They got caught up by some webmaster jerkface. It's funny. Really. Reminds me of an older thing where some idiot thief got caught-up. Lawbreakers beware!

Fatty Brandon Davis Apologizes
Brandon Davis apologized for his fire crotch verbal assault of teenager Lindsay Lohan. I knew he woudl be a bitch like that. I bet he snorts viagra.

"Hilary Duff Sucks" Petition
Speaking of Lindsay's enemies, here you can put down your digital autograph to show that you think Hilary Duff is trash. I signed it, so should you! Just go watch any of her crap movies and you will see she is crap crap crap! Crazy Matt thinks shes hot. What a fool!

Lindsay's New Movie
So Lindsay has some kind of supporting role in this new movie that comes out in two weeks, June 9th. The film is titled A Prairie Home Companion. It's about a radio station that is closing down or some crap. I wonder how many times they will make a movie about some stupid station shutting down. UHF destroys all other films of the type! Lindsay's job is to sing songs about death and dying. Its like she's a rapper.

Lindzmag.net?
I think I will have to battle these clowns. They plan on putting out a quarterly "magazine" about Lindsay. Says they have some kind of team of workers, but they are all too busy for Lindsay. What a crock. I will blow them out of the water! Mark my words. LM/K!

Lindsay Hermione
Lindsay reprises her british accent from The Parent Trap and shows of her killer rack too. She's hosted SNL like three times and let's hope she sets a record before she dies some kind of drug-induced tragic death. We can also see Horatio Sanz's horrible comedy skills which prove he will stay on SNL for longer than Tim Meadows did.

Lindsay from her last SNL Hosting Gig
I just barely caught the tail end of Lindsay's last SNL show. She helped them make fun of gay Liberace! How mean! Also she played the role of some stupid princess, in this "Laser Cats" digital short.

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A Much-Needed Update
June 5, 2006
Here are some off the wall items that you should know about as a nice citizen of the planet Earth.

Phonespell.org
At this site, you enter in your phone number, and then it will show you the different words you can spell out of it. It makes me wish my phone number didnt have any zero's in it so it could be filled with words. CRAP. I can't wait until I can tell someone my phone number is "DIE-TIME!"

Homewrecker
If you were here to see my 100th link, you saw a music video about Lindsay Lohan and others, including Angelina Jolie. Here is the sequel to that, dedicated to the homewrecking skills of Ms. Jolie, who I would like to congratulate for giving birth to that kid over in Africa.

Denver Broncos News
Here we have a fine site that is kind of like Google News. It gathers news from all different places and puts them on one page, about different topics. Here is the one that shows news about my beloved Denver Broncos. Find out all the late breaking news about Jake Plummer's road rage and Ashely Lelie's cry-baby tactics. They have pages for other teams too, if you are like that.

West Side Tucson
Here's a real nice site that hits close to home. It details certain aspects of the West Side, including its history and other crazy things like that. It's hosted by my alma mater, the University of Arizona. Parts of it were even written by my big homies Ricky and Brandon. They's the shit, and so is the WEST. 85745 boyeeeee!

Arnold's Official Site
Check out this important item, detailing Arnold's quest to help everyone, especially the kids! Let's hope he gets four more years, and eventually becomes president!

For the finale, I bring you a couple of cool videos from google
A wise man once asked: Is it the shoes?
That funny lady Sarah Silverman has this nice video that is very racially insensitive. Everyone likes that! Am I right?!

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LETS MOVE ON TO PAGE 2 PLEASE!